Recently I had to go to a training course for work about handling difficult customers on the phone. It was actually less about speaking to people on the phone, and more about learning how to be assertive - rather than passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive.
I was dreading this course for a number of reasons, the biggest one being that I know I am absolutely and completely passive. When I was younger I would hate things like talking on the phone, meeting new people, getting put into groups to work with new people and speaking up at school (my school reports always consisted of “Emma is bright and talented but needs to speak up more and gain more confidence” etc etc). The course was going to involve all of those horrible things, and some fake phone conversations that we would have to listen back to. Basically my worst nightmare!
I spent the weeks leading up to this complaining about how much I didn’t want to go on it and that it was going to be a complete waste of my time (and that I was kind of scared). And then afterwards, I reluctantly told everyone that actually it wasn’t all that bad. And so, once again reluctantly, I think I might have actually found enough good in this course to write up a decent blog post about it.
I might not actually be a passive person now that I’m almost 24. I’ve mentioned in probably both of my previous blog posts that a lot has changed for me over the past couple of years, what with moving out and becoming a kind-of adult. I guess when you get used to doing things yourself and not being able to call your parents for every little thing that goes wrong then it gets easier to do other life things without feeling that you’re about to pass out from fear and anxiety.
Turns out that “speaking up in class” is a thing I can do now. The course kind of felt like being back at school, because there were people that refused to take part, and there were people that tried to take part too much. I tried to pick a middle ground, and answer questions and give suggestions and take charge in group work when no one else was going to. These are things that, even 3 or 4 years ago, I didn’t think I was ever going to be capable of. I used to be that person that sat there with my head down hoping not to be picked on for an answer because I thought I’d be wrong and everyone would laugh or something. And so what if I did give a wrong answer, I just laughed along with everyone anyway.
So I managed to get through the group work and the speaking in front of everyone else without too much of an issue, but I still had to face the worst part. I hate admitting that I’m wrong but, actually, the worst part might have maybe just a little bit become my favourite part of the whole course? Maybe I should stop complaining about things before I know whether I’m going to completely hate them or not.
So the fake phone call consisted of someone else acting as the angry customer and me acting as myself. And I reacted as I do on every angry phone call at work, with a lot of pauses because I panic and don’t know what to say, and then with me spewing a lot of information at the customer that probably doesn’t even make sense. But then I listened back to the call.
First of all, I think vlogging has helped me out here, because I already know how stupid and annoying my voice sounds, so that’s the first barrier out of the way. And do you know what I thought when I heard myself speaking to the “angry customer”? I thought, oh, I sound quite professional. I didn’t sound nervous, and I sounded like I knew exactly what I was saying. And sure, maybe there were a couple of pauses, but apparently that’s a good thing so you can keep your cool and they can keep their cool and stuff like that. So the worst part of the whole course? Actually ended up making me feel relieved a little more confident than.
I’m not sure that this course taught me much about dealing with difficult customers - people are gonna be difficult if they want to be and there’s nothing you can do about that except try to help them and not to take anything they say personally - but it did actually teach me some things about myself I wasn’t aware of.
You don’t realise how far you’ve come until someone makes you step back and take a look. And I’ve come a long way from even the 19 year old girl that would do exactly as she was told and stay in shitty relationships that were making her miserable. I’m so much more in control of my emotions and my reactions than I have ever been, and I have enough confidence in myself to speak up and stand up for myself when I need to.
And I think if you could have seen me at 16, you’d be as proud of me as I am.
:) Emmy x
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